Look, buddy. It’s been a rough couple of games for all of us. Particularly for you, after the dizzying flighting path you took on your way down to the field at last week’s game against Texas A&M. Instead of soaring around the stadium and touching down triumphantly on the 50-yard line, you took a seemingly random stroll about the stands. Just scoping things out, guys! Don’t mind me up here!
At one point, you left the stadium altogether (not that we can blame you—we didn’t want to watch what happened on that field either). We were breathless as we waited for you to make the dive onto the field—partially from fear, but mostly from having to sustain our “War Eagle” for so long.
Spirit, I’m not going to try and hide it from you: there’s been speculation. It’s not pretty. People are wondering what’s gotten into you. Is it all the late nights you spend out partying with chicks? Stage fright? Is it a self confidence issue?
Among our three beloved eagles, you are the only one that’s bald, but that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Even your close friends and family are concerned that something might be wrong. It was a little more than a year ago that you smacked straight into the glass window of a luxury box during the MSU game while we watched from below, terrified. It’s been said that you got distracted by your own reflection and, trust me, as a girl who’s been know to spend hours in front of the mirror, I get that.
But after last week’s game, we’re starting to worry that it’s not just a one-time thing. I mean, two guys leapt out of a moving airplane at more than 2,000 feet and still made a smoother landing than you did.
We’re worried about you, Spirit. We don’t like to see you like this.
Our homecoming game is this week. We’re up against New Mexico State for what might be the brightest moment in a dark season. Thousands of Auburn alumni flock to Jordan-Hare stadium to relive old memories and make new ones. This is your time to shine. You can finally prove all your critics wrong.
All we’re asking is for one loop around the stands, and then you can head straight to that hunk of meat waiting for you on the ground. We believe in you. We know you can do it. And, realistically, we don’t have a whole lot to look forward to for the rest of this season. At least give us this.